21 June 2008

I wanna feed the hungry children

And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the father's hand

Treehouse III, June 15-21, 2008
Wilderness was the best possible way to start my summer at Lakeshore. It was a dream come true. My eight girls in Tent A were all spectacular and I love everything about wilderness. Becca, Brianna, Morgan, Mariah, Tennison, Mary Ann, Kari, Hannah. There were only some eighteen campers, Megan Jones had Tent D, and Swifty had the boys in C, and B was empty because of the wasp nest. I don't know how to do this without going one day at a time.

Sunday they all arrived and we got them messy--cereal eating contests and painting with their feet. Tent A named ourselves the Great Eight before we realized there were nine of us and added a parenthetical Plus One. We played "Dude Just Got Bit by a Snake!--Oh No, He's Just Chillin'." The Oaks won pretty much everything. It was a short but lovely day, though after bedtime one tiny camper wailed and howled and screamed, sure a wasp had stung him on the eye, though none had, and in fact he had just been poked by a little pebble on his pillow.

Monday was low ropes and let's face it, my girls rocked. Though it took them forever to get across the lava river with their very specific magic carpet square shoes, they tackled Jordan's Crossing with what can only be described as mad skills, and Tennison earned no less than 14 life points for a back-bend board-holding move that defied the laws of physics.

Tuesday at the rock wall I braided more hair than I thought it was possible to braid between breakfast and lunch. The total for the week reached 13 heads and 26 French braids. They loved me.

Wednesday was the traditional wilderness canoe trip on the Buffalo. I braided two heads on the way through the wind from the open windows in the AC-free Lakeshore school bus, and took on my canoe sweet Mary Ann, but also Lily, who belongs to the man who owns Flatwoods Canoe and who was completely mad (hatter-style), lied several times to me about her age, never listened, couldn't steer, pretended to cry, and ran us into the shore every mile or so. Well, that was stressful. But Mary Ann and I made it through like troopers and on the way back I slept sitting on the floor of the bus with my head on the seat. I don't know how no one ever thinks of that. It's the most comfortable bus-sleeping position there is.

On Thursday morning we had the service project, lining the new path up to wilderness with rocks, and let me tell you, the kids loved it. They freaking ate it up. Moving rocks from the creek, digging rocks out of the ground, carrying piles of rocks in their shirts, getting covered in mud and grossness and risking poison-everything in the woods and being awesome wild children. It was truly a sight to behold, especially when they formed their own assembly line from the creek to the path. Coty, sometimes known as the greatest camper of all time, carried huge huge rocks stretching out his little shirt and I think he defied the laws of physics too. I really don't remember what we did the rest of the day Thursday. That's what I get for waiting so long to write about my adventures. I forget important details. Let this be a lesson to you all.

Friday was mud volleyball and Eva beach. After breakfast we carted ourselves down the hill to the mud volleyball court, which contains no volleyball and only sometimes even a net. Once we were sufficiently disgusting and 100% covered in goopy goo mud, we slopped and slid up to main camp to scare senior high and then "cleaned" off in the lake, as per tradition. On the drive to Eva beach I got to sit in the front seat, because counselors do and I was one. (My warm fuzzy bag was labeled "Sara 'Not a Camper' Stephens" just to be sure.) At Eva beach I stayed on shore while Danielle and Swifty took the kids out in shifts for tubing and skiing and such things. Mostly we played Uno until four-thirty or so, when a huge group of senior citizens enswarmed the pavilion, claiming they had it reserved at four. Though we evacuated to the picnic tables, it just wasn't the same, so soon we all piled back into the van and headed back to main camp for dinner, which was, of course, delicious. At worship that night we followed a string through the woods in near total darkness and sang Grace Like Rain, among other things. A bunch of them cried, but then, it was Friday night.

Saturday was simple. Breakfast, packing up, singing, M&Ms, goodbyes. And I went home.

also to remember, and perhaps to expand upon later: eric noise, summer shakespeare, captain planet, coty voice, becca, mama gudische, hill ease, cement pond worship, white sheets worship, leaves, tree sketch, college story, moon pie






11 June 2008

I went to Evansville last weekend and Maria and Guy and I went on a picnic and drank honeysuckle and played with pink cards and sunbathed by the river and swung upside down and dizzied ourselves on a tire swing and sucked at phase 10 and stayed up till four and ate ice cream and explored a skeleton mall and you haven't even heard the half of it.


31 May 2008

Hot Hot Hot Oil

Summer is exciting. I have much planned, but it's still so long! I would like to take a class or something, but does anyone have 800 dollars just lying around? Well I don't. I applied for a job I probably will not get. Ah, what I want is something to pass the long afternoons between events. But the time will go quickly enough with all this.

June5-9: Evansville via Brentwood
June11: Dentist hah hah hah
[UPDATE] June15-21: Lakeshore (VCing wilderness 3)
June22-28: Texas road trip
June29-July5: Lakeshore (VCing youth arts/crafts)
[UPDATE] July6-12: Lakeshore (VCing jr. high 3)
July?-?: Evansville again

With luck I will either get a job or get more camps to counsel. August has nothing at all! Except, of course, picnics in all the gazebos in town. Memphis is a beautiful city but I've done everything fifty times already. Next summer I cannot spend this much time here. My knees are killing me already!

May was pretty nice though.

13 May 2008

Hello, I've missed you quite terribly.

It would have been silly to post much during the time since I last did because for so long I would just have been repeating myself. No one wants to read "I just wish my friends would come home" that many times, seriously. But now real things have happened, good things. And the things just keep getting better.

May seems like the time when everything got lovely but really it was the end of April. One day Jessica David and I went with some others to see Barack Obama speak. We spent over five hours there to hear him for twenty minutes and it was worth it. But you know, it's really more important that I went with Jeska than where I went because I have never mentioned her here before but she is so important! In twenty years what will matter is that I spent the whole semester hugging this girl and getting thought a lesbian for it and not minding because we are Hetero-Life-Partners-4-Life.


After Obama nothing good happened until April 30th, reading study day. But then four good things happened all at once; honestly I don't know how I handled it. Let's walk through the day together, shall we? I got up and took a shower, already a good start, and was getting ready at a leisurely rate at around eleven with every belief that nothing would happen for the next hour. However, shortly thereafter, my sweet roommate Chelsea's boyfriend (whom I affectionately call) DomDom (even though he hates it) nearly punched me in the face with the door, and his eagerness entirely made up for plenty of times when I've wished he had ovaries so I could put him in front of the microwave and turn it on, because he said, "I just saw Guy Wyant coming up the sidewalk." The next three minutes were proof I have prophetic dreams (see 16 March). I spent the next hour and a half after that hugging him, hello lovely home from England thing. This one--


Just a few minutes before one, then, I was downstairs standing in the lobby waiting for another one, and I almost got hit by a car honestly, running to Jennifer. We went together to the student publications lunch and came back to school to form the best quad-fecta of our generation, the two of us and Jeska and Guy, at least for a little while.


At five, directly following the arrival of Matt and Alex, the plan that Jackie and Bernard and Chelsea came up with to make my day as embarrassing as possible went into effect. With everyone watching, Guy and John Posey played Pomp and Circumstance on accordion and saxophone and my dear friends held a high school graduation ceremony for me, hideous maroon robes and all. When I gave up on my attempts to hide behind Chelsea, Molly gave the commencement address, Jennifer and Jeska played my parents, and Katie conferred upon me the diploma signifying my graduation from Posexy High (whose school song, by the way, is "Hey There Delilah").


For the next several days I did very little studying and an enormous amount of being around people I have missed so, so terribly. We ate 31-cent ice cream and spent all our time around each other. Early Saturday morning, Matt and Alex left for their respective Illinois homes. Saturday night we held birthday celebrations for John Posey with ice cream and Cosmo and cookie cake. Jen stayed until Sunday and her last night we slept in the boat. Guy came and went between his house and his brother's house and Powell but never really left for good.


On Monday I stole Guy and was drinking a sub-par hot chocolate at Cafe Apostrophe and talking to him like old times when Maria showed up in the door freshly home from Europe. I knocked a chair over, but not on purpose of course. I didn't let her go for an hour until she had to go see other people for a while. I have no pictures of her from these days even though they were wonderful, which I guess means I'll just have to go back to visit.

...
I wish I could remember every second but I'm already forgetting things. The people behind me and Guy at Iron Man were making duck noises the whole time. I got a scarf from Poland and a beret from Paris. Jacket thievery, Toss 'n' Catch, She's the Man, saying "Two, please." All that sleeping in the boat. Cardboard Alex in my room, packing, Jamal, the lounge cleaned, the lounge goodbyed for good. The last night we tried so hard to stay up but fell asleep on the floor, then on the couch again and again, and I wanted to talk more and say so much more but the leaving is so much less painful when soon really means soon.

16 March 2008

A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Last night I dreamt that three of my friends were back suddenly and no one knew they were coming, but I saw them from the window and froze and then ran outside where the sun was shining, and they were there all bright shining too, and I laughed like you wouldn't believe, and oh how wonderful it was-- (like a dream, but then, it was a dream.)

12 March 2008

What a beautiful day.

I don't care it if gets cold again--it's spring!

Awesome things about everything:
It's Wednesday.
The sun!
Mango smoothie.
NMSC just gave me four thousand dollars.
Two days left in my childhood.
Outside!
March will be round-off-able in just a few days.
I love everyone <3

27 February 2008

WHAT THE HELL POWELL HALL
ARE YOU KIDDING ME

11 February 2008

the brightest thing is the sun, so the bright side is the side from which it rises.

east

05 February 2008

Survival Techniques

I am spending the first five days of spring break in Rosendale with Amelia. I am the last one to visit. We are going to have fruit and fine cheeses and ice cream every day, lie in beds, loll about, have adventures, take pictures, sip sweet teas, bundle up, and think only of happy sleepy beautiful things. The plane ticket has been purchased, the deal is on. It's happening. An added bonus? It's 766 miles closer.

Since I'm flying I'll be home too, at the end, for a few days, and I'll be able to see my loves in Memphis. Harbortown, you guys. And maybe it'll finally be warm.

25 January 2008

Last night I dreamed of cobblestones and sun and people who are very far away being very close. Everyone was happy. Everyone was smiling.

07 January 2008

It's Not the Holiday Season

Tomorrow morning I go back to Evansville. It is a strange feeling because for a good eleven years past, watching Christmas break end was a travesty. Now though, I can't get back soon enough. England has taken everyone (<--moderate hyperbole) but still, I need to get out of Memphis. The break has been way too emotionally stressful (despite a healthy dose of great fun) and right now being in this city just reminds me that I am sad. I have trouble figuring out what I got out of the past few weeks, because there was all this excellent stuff--seeing my friends from home and getting and giving presents and laughing and shouting and talking on the phone and driving everywhere--that means Christmas 2k7 and the surrounding time off was a success, but I have never spent more hurrah-not-in-school time feeling so sad, and lonely. Hattie said sometime during this time that next semester I'll just be like all the other kids who go to college and have an okay time and are basically happy but wish they were happier, but that the difference between me and them is I get to know that the perfect miracle I had first semester is going to come back to me. I think that's a pretty good way to look at it.

At any rate, Memphis, thank you for your time, and I love you, but I'm through and nothing but ready to be nowhere but Evansville. Got that? I really don't want to have to handle any more time here because right now all I can think about is sucky, and I know at school there's some goodness left to be had.

31 December 2007

Two Thousand Eight is a Big Number

Looking back at my goals for 2007, which are not posted here, I think I did an okay job. There were fifteen and I'm satisfied with my progress on ten of them. This year, I'll simplify, because enough is complicated already. For 2008:

--Be more of a lady.
--Save money to see my friends.
--Make 2008 worth the pain.
--Be healthy.
--Love people.

I think I can do those things. 2008 is a kind of a big deal. The plan is this. In January I say goodbye for real for a long time. In February it's cold. In March I see Amelia if I'm lucky, and turn eighteen. In April, at the end of it, God willing, maybe I get to say hello again. In May I take exams and love Memphis. In the summer, in an ideal universe, I go to Atlanta, Dallas, Evansville, Lakeshore, Nashville, and Vincennes, and all those places come to me. In August I prepare. In September I go to England. In October and November I go everywhere I can. In December I come home. It's going to be fast and terrifying, but with the effort I'm going to put in, it's going to be worth it. I'll be ready.

25 December 2007

And I don't know how
but the closest friends I've ever known
are all inside
singing together.


(I wish.)

I miss you all. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Merry Christmas, darlings.

18 December 2007

i cant pretend this is okay anymore. this faux optimism is such a lie. the truth: ITS NOT OKAY. you cant just leave me okay? you cant. dont. please. please. stay. its not okay. im not okay.

03 December 2007

Explanation

I haven't had much to write here because I tell every detail I can remember of every day to Annebel in very long emails, and I write letters. Everything I have to say sounds better in a letter. Maybe I am not a poet but a letter writer. That's okay with me, I think.

For those of you who love me, so do I. College is hard and I am busy and stressed and never have any time and procrastinate anyway--but I love it. There is good here and I have found it, and even with all the good that is about to leave me way, way too soon, there is enough staying behind to keep College wonderful. I'm just a girl.

27 November 2007

Thanksgiving, From Emails to Annebel

--Tuesday: Josh Sigler and Kristen and CK's, we met Lauren Huddleston and Nick and Lena, I ate a waffle, it was delicious, I took Josh home, Kristen and I sat in my bed talking about boys and college for a little while, I took her home, I went to sleep.

--Wednesday: I awoke to your call (what better way?), it was your birthday, I took you to Harbortown and we took pictures for real, I had to go to the dentist, we got Kristen and cheesecake, you didn't buy that dress at American Apparel, the sky got real scary, we went to Kroger for tortellini and you and Kristen tormented me when I had nowhere to run, we made food and had a Zac Efron sandwich on hot foreign boy bread, we went to sleep.

--Thursday: I took Kristen home, I took you home, I made mashed taters, it was Thanksgiving. I called Spencer's mom to ask if she still had any shirts from Guy's Tuxedos, which she used to own and was my brother's first job and also my mom worked there for a few years, and she said she'd look. I was planning an excellent gift. She and Spencer and his brother Jason came over for food, she brought me the shirt, we ate and Spencer and I saw August Rush, which was great, then went by his house, which was boring, then I came home. I went to Martha's and we all made warrior costumes (See my most recent album on FB. In fact, look at all of those pictures because they are all great, not just the ones you're in.), we attacked Ryan's house, we went to a playground, picked up Jack Katze, went to CK's, I had a waffle, I went home.

--Friday: Eileen, Martha, Ryan, and eventually Eric Neimeyer went to Ms. Kitts' house to make cookies and had a wonderful time. We cooked and played the instruments and spent several hours enjoying the fine company. I took Eileen to Morgan Fox's house so she could go to RENT. I got my Morgan and we went to the Neimeyer potluck and ate a lot of food, played team Scrabble and foreign team scrabble, experimented with the flash on my and Hattie's camera. Morgan and I went to Eileen's to sleep.

--Saturday: We got up and played with Mia (Eileen's sister who is almost four), tried to take her to lunch but didn't have time so we took her home and went to Brother Juniper's, where I had a waffle, which makes three total. I took a very fast shower and got you and we saw Dan in Real Life and got Starbucks and you got mad at me for being too sarcastic to your friends but I really did like them. I took you home. I ate Chinese food and went to the Nathan and Jesse household for a while, saw them and Lauren Strange and Ryan and Martha and Cole Reeves, got my clothes smelling like fire, hugged everyone, got Lena, and went to Mercer and Lilla's birthday party, which was fun. After it I took Lena home, but she and I sat in her driveway for an hour talking. She is a lot smarter than people think and I think she has a lot figured out about life. She told me a lot of good stuff that I am considering if the opportunity arises. I thanked her and went home, packed, slept.

--Sunday: I woke up, we drove back, it rained the whole way, mom and I played Remember Facts About My Friends, I was at college.

16 November 2007

Stones
taught me to fly
Love
taught me to cry
So come on, courage,
teach me to be shy
cause it's not hard to fall

05 November 2007

My Schedule, Once Again, is Delightful

MWF
10-1050: German 112, Elementary German II (Meredig)
12-1250: World Cultures 120H, Emergence of the Modern World (Unknown Professor, but if it's Brian Ernsting I will stand up and leave the moment he walks in the room.)
2-250: Writing 205, Intro to Imaginative Writing (Bone)

TTh
930-1045: Lit 242, Major American Writers II (Brown)
11-1215: History 341, Colonial America 1607-1774 (Gahan)

Please note:

Writing 205 from Paul Bone, history from Maria's dad, no classes at 8AM, lots of awesomeness, and oh yeah, I'll be living on the third floor with Chelsea. So, I have established, even though five (or maybe six) of my eight dearest friends will be gone (Maria, Jennifer, Kelly, Guy, Alex, and maybe Kent), next semester might be okay.

02 November 2007

There was a time

about forty-five minutes ago, when for maybe four minutes, i was thinking about lakeshore next summer, and my world cultures paper that is due in less than nine hours was completely out of my thoughts. and it was wonderful.

update: i had a panic attack. my morning was horrible, but tonight i felt pretty for the first time in years.

21 October 2007

Die Leben Einschätzung Zwei

so a little over a year ago i did a life assessment and i decided it would be a terrific idea to do it again.
  • i love college. i love college. i love love love love love love college.

  • a lot of the things that were true in august 2006 are still true in october 2007. but some of them are not. for example, the next eight bullets:
  • i dont have to want college now because i have it. it is all i thought it would be and i am so happy.
  • it doesnt matter that i am no good at math because i never have to take it again and i am so happy.
  • mr brown no longer makes me want to die die die because he no longer has jurisdiction over me and i am so happy.
  • high school is now out of my face and i was right, i do love life a lot more.
  • i dont really have that strong an opinion on willifords anymore.
  • i have accepted that nathaniel hawthorne was in fact a man.
  • novus was cancelled so i didnt quit, but i did stop before i left the city. however, it was not of my own volition.
  • i am still terrified of failure and never getting married but i am no longer afraid of being late to class and not being able to pay for college and dancing and being caught with a cellphone at school.

  • the worst thing in my life right now is that my roommate snores and likes to keep the room cooler than i do.
  • i love to write letters.
  • i dont really need to watch tv.
  • my heart of hearts spends approximately 60% of the day pining for ron weasley.
  • i can probably get really great at german, and that is really exciting.
  • i want a boy who takes my mind off my mouth.
  • im a little closer to being pro-life than i expected to be.
  • i am capable of getting my laundry and dishes done and cleaning my room.
  • i feel uncomfortable financially when i am not saving money for something, but the only big thing i want that i dont have is a macbook, and i think im going to get one in about a year, so i am saving my money for going to africa. my mother told me that my father doesnt want me to go to africa, and i told her that he cant stop me.
  • im still not sure what i think about jesus.
  • riding my bike makes me feel like a little kid in the best possible way.
  • i could probably live a happy life as an editor but i still want to be a professor.
  • i like children a lot.
  • my ultimate goal is 138.
  • sometimes i play tetris in my head without thinking about it.
  • college is hard, but i can do it.
  • in less than a year, i will be in england. its going to be the absolute greatest.
  • in two or three years, i wont have a home in memphis anymore. im not sure what i think about that, but the new house is going to be beautiful.
  • i probably like you a lot.