31 December 2008

So 2 November isn't the last post before 2009

This year was stupid, but in the the interest of making the best of it, I'll retract a statement I once made that nothing good happened in 2008 and list every good thing, in roughly chronological order.

January: meeting Jeska David
February: nothing
March: nothing
April: nothing
May: the homecoming May 1–8
June: Evansvisit, wilderness, Texas
July: arts/crafts, jr. high ii, music/drama, jr. high iii
August: telling the secret
September–December: my sweet friends, morning movies, Romulus, Mondays 8–9, Thursday coffee, SCF, Barack Obama, quitting the Crescent, The Cabin, and today—the end.

I made it through the year and I did not even collapse
Gotta say, thank God, for that.

PS: I found out that 2008 had an extra second in it. Add that to the fact that it was a leap year, and you have the longest year of my life. I'm so glad it's over.

02 November 2008

14 September–2 November 2008.

So, sure, I could just close my eyes
Yeah sure, trace and memorize
But can you go back once you know?

01 November 2008

Semester 0901

MWF
10–1050: German 212, Intermediate German II, Frau Pleasant
11–1150: Writing 308, Creative Non-Fiction, Dr. McMullan
1–150: Religion 150, Intro to New Testament, Dr. Ware
W 6–845: History 429, Rural Life in Europe and North America, Dr. Gahan

[EDIT 19Jan: Dropped German 212, Added Writing 207, Intro to Short Story, Dr. McMullan, at 9–950 MWF. Now can graduate on time.]

TTh
11–1215: Biology 100, Fundamentals of Biology, Dr. Carroll
Th 1–3: Biology 100L, Fundamentals of Biology Lab, Dr. Carroll

I have a class with Chelsea and Bernard and Morgie and Becca Patton and two with Kaitlin and Kelly. I will live with Kaitlin. All of TFL--first year and second--will be together for the first time. 2009 won't even know what hit it.

19 October 2008

Die Einschätzung des Lebens, Nummer Drei

Sie ist jetzt hier.

Subject to revision.
-I love college. I love college. I love love love love love love college still.
-Since last year around this time, much has changed.
-I have learned the correct way to say "Life Assessment" in German.
-A lot of the things I put in my life assessment last year are not important.
-In less than a year, I'm going to be in England. I said this last year too, but this time it's true.
-The reason I'm not in England right now is that I discovered I cannot live a year without my friends. In just four months I fell in love with them all.
-Spring semester 2008 was the most horrible time of my life. I do not have the words to explain how painful it was. Surviving from 20 December 2007 to 29 April 2008 was literally the hardest thing I have ever done.
-Africa is waiting for me. I can feel it pulling me.
-I am in a relationship. I spent several minutes debating whether to put "finally" at the beginning of the previous sentence. Though I decided against it, the sentiment stands. Like never before, I sometimes feel pretty.
-Until this week, I had never been homesick in my life. I miss the Mississippi River and the beauty in everything, driving on Union, Otherlands bagels, MPC, my home friends.
-I have an incredibly difficult time believing people love me.
-My ultimate goal is not entirely out of reach.
-I hate my job copy editing for the newspaper. There is no reason I should dread going to work 16 hours a week to be constantly shot down and paid what comes to about $2.50 an hour. But I have less than two months left.
-I wanna live in a house down by the bay, / where I can sit spitting watermelon seeds all day, / and do my only work in the kitchen, / making corn bread, collard greens, and fried chicken all the time. / I don't wanna go to jail again, / I'm too in love with all my friends, / but who in the world knows where I'll end up next?
-I'm a pretty good counselor, but I have a lot to learn. VCing has shown me a lot about Lakeshore that I'm not sure I wanted to know, but it is still my favorite place. I want very much to spend my summer there next year. I really miss those people.
-Driving by myself is the best way I know to relieve stress, calm down, handle my life, stay strong. For me it is a lot more than turning a wheel.
-Papercuts. Are. The worst.
-I still don't floss. I just can't do it.
-The combination of my busyness and that of my college friends leads me to miss people who live a quarter mile or less from me. I hate that schoolwork and work take me away from people I love and that I have to schedule regular meeting times to keep in touch with friends who go to school with me.
-I love, however, that nearly everyone is together, at least geographically. Next semester will be even better--for the first time, we will all be together at once.
-I probably like you a lot.

25 September 2008

Things are going really well. Things like school and work are okay and everything at the paper is changing constantly, but the other important things are floating a fast and smooth river. I feel like life is beautiful and maybe I am too.

I'm on a high
on a high
there's nothing more to it

18 September 2008

Ring Around the Rosey

[As of 14 September 2008]
I guess, for those of you who are behind the times, this is John Posey.

He's my boyfriend.

07 September 2008

Preparation Contemplation

I'm ready to be part of something beautiful again.
Riverside adventures, slow aproned baking, comfortable warm silence, ribbon-haired spinning, hand prints and faces, autumn smell. Twisting fingers and soft voices.
Come here to me.

28 August 2008

Semester 0802

MWF
12–1250:
German 211, Intermediate German I, Frau Pleasant
1–150: History 348, The Great Depression, Dr. Kirkwood
2–250:
World Lit 223, World Classics, Professor Bone
MW 5–550: Music 230, Women's Chorus, Dr. Malfatti

TTh

930–1045:
Religion 212H, Living World Religions Honors, Dr. Oliver
(T 215–245: German Discussion)

SMTW
12 hours/week: Writing 494, Crescent (newspaper) copy editor
[EDIT: October 2008:
SMTWTh
17 hours/week: Writing 494, Crescent copy editor coordinator]


So far, all of these are wonderful, but difficult. German is a huge jump, history is history, world lit is excellent, religion might be my favorite. The newspaper consumes my life, but it also gives me 400-level writing credit. I am excited about singing again. I love you all.

Sometimes Things Don't Happen.

Like my plan to describe in detail the remaining four weeks of my summer at Lakeshore before classes start. Well they started yesterday, and I just don't think it's going to happen. There is already so much to do. But for my own memory at least, some highlights.

The week after Texas, Jr./Sr. High Arts and Crafts, we stayed in Hopper Lodge which is a five-star hotel compared to Wilderness. With my co Jessica Stevens I counseled eight 12-16-year-olds who were, for the most part, better at art than I am. One, Abigail, is now my dear friend, having been only a couple of years my junior. She goes to high school where Annebel's Emily went. Olivia and Mary-Page (MP was not mine), among others, were spectacular. I also had Meghan, Audrey, Amber, Eve, Amanda, and Shelly. At the talent show I sang the recycling song from Rocko's Modern Life. There were two male counselors and two male campers. It was wonderful. God Made Lakeshore.

Junior High II followed. It was huge in comparison to the 18 and 22 campers at my previous weeks, with about 90. In Cabin 3 with Becca Taylor I had ten girls, and we all wrote "Cabin III Needs No RC" on our fuzzy bags. Amelia should be my little sister, and Ellen too. Payden, Meredith, Lauren, Margy, Shea, Savannah, Rachel, and AE. Though not in my cabin, Tennison from wilderness was back and still excellent. This week aquatics director Abbie Myers and I started to become best friends. On Friday Becca nearly broke her nose when she got a camper-head to the face in water polo. She went to the hospital and Lisa Elder saved my life by being my substitute co. At worship that night we did an anointing. I was terrified.

At Jr. High Music and Drama my co was in her fifties. She meant well but there was only so much she could do to relate to the 12-year olds, and she treated them like little kids, skipped the beach party, and never told me what she was doing. Mostly I took over and just let her follow us around. With only six girls I didn't need her. So that was stressful, not to mention the dean had not a clue what he was doing. Nevertheless it was a glorious week, and I had two of my friends' little sisters in H12, Isabelle and Samantha. Also Lucy, Mattie, Maddie, and Mary Parker. Eva, who was at Arts and Crafts, came back for M&D. I co-led Creative Writing and Theatre groups, and my actors did the Everything Scene that you can find performed very cheesily on YouTube. One night very late Katy Jeffrey and I drew pictures and stifled our laughter for an hour.

My last week was hard. Junior High III had 147 kids and way too many of them wanted to cause trouble. One got sent home for cussing out the dean, and even though Megan Jones and I did our darndest to get them to bond, our cabin hated each other until Thursday when we had to have a cabin meeting with Jana. The most boy-crazy girl I've ever met, incredible miscommunication, missing campers, strife, d to the r to the a-m-a. But it was also a huge learning experience, and after Thursday morning their problems melted into a relatively happy cabin unit. I had some of the most mature campers I've come across. What happens in the circle stays in the circle.

When I went back to Memphis the day after that camp ended I felt like I was leaving home. I cannot wait to maybe hopefully be on staff next summer. What a good place.




28 July 2008

Texas, Can I?

Texas Road Trip, June 22-28, 2008
(I'm going to catch up; I am I am!)
When I got home from wilderness I took a twelve-day shower, I think. Well, no, but it was a long one still. Otherwise I did a little bit of frantic laundry and cortizoned my bug bites and it wasn't long before Maria arrived at my very doorstep, ready to set out the next morning for South Lake, Texas, sometimes referred to as Sort of Dallas. To celebrate her arrival, Maria and I had a dance party in my room. Yes we did. At some point I let the poor tired thing go to bed and continued what would become a nearly endless cycle of unpacking, doing laundry, and repacking on Saturday nights.

Sunday morning we embarked on our journey, armed with corn chips and a ridiculous number of mix CDs, which made the eight hour drive noticeably less painful, particularly so considering our habit of listening to "Sexy, Can I?" no less than once an hour. Getting a little bit lost twice aside, our greatest disappointment lay in the fact that there was no Welcome to Texas sign in or around Texarkana! What is that about, seriously? Other points of interest on the drive include an unintentional detour to a quarry, lunch at Baco Tell, getting chased or stalked or followed by Creepy McSteverson in his Big Mac Truck, and that one time when I almost killed us both to make the right exit but then it turned out to be the wrong exit anyway. Nevertheless, we arrived intact to a warm welcome of Kelly's kickin' house, endless hospitality, delicious chicken, a wonderful swimming pool, and a surprisingly generous donation to the Sara and Maria's Texas Vacation Fund from Mr. and Mrs. Kelly's grandparents. That night we ventured to "The Stadium," spending some hours enjoying the breeze and the fine company of Kelly's friends Alex, Zach, and Will. Sadly they all have very plain names, but then, who am I to talk? Maria and I, trying to rack up as many illegal activities as possible, rode in the back of a truck to IHOP afterward with the whole gang, and upon our return to the house were quite pooped and headed directly to bed.

Monday we awoke to some sort of delicious breakfast, possibly muffins, and started off the day right with a swim. Subsequently, we baked cakies for Kelly's grandparents, by which I mean Kelly baked them while Maria and I took showers and got all the chlorine out of our hair. They are like cookies, but with cake batter. The Cyr household was hosting some sort of party-like ordeal, featuring various Cyr relatives and friends, as well as the best salsa ever in the world. Period. Once the adults were gone, we who remained put on The Office and played some serious Apples to Apples. I lost miserably. That night, Maria pushed me off the bed and knocked me into something metal and left a delightful welt on my forehead. She's a horrible girl.

Tuesday was simple as far as explanations go. Around three we left the comfort of South Lake and drove to Six Flags over Texas, where the lines were not, and never had to wait more than about ten minutes, happily riding every ride that matters at least once. Still, the cost of beverages there really makes you miss Holiday World. Not that I've ever been there, because I haven't. Before dark even, we had already done everything there is to do at Six Flags and returned home to a nap followed by more Office watching. Anyone spotting a trend?

AppeaseDannyGahanyday, which is AKA'd as Wednesday, we, Alex, and Zach who is in love with the JFK assassination went to Dealey Plaza to see the road where the pres died and steal some grass from the aptly named Grassy Knoll for Maria's dad. The Sixth (or is it Seventh?) Floor Museum also made an appearance, and somehow everyone's tickets were magically paid for when only Alex had reached the ticket lady. Hmmm. Mystery? No. Some sort of delicious smokey restaurant filled our hungry bellies thereafter, and later we, with great effort and change of venue along with some adept driving skills on Kelly's part, went to see Get Smart, which turned out to be legitimately funny.

The Stockyards, chief in the story of Thursday, were full of Texas-themed everything and real life cows! Well, they were much more excellent than regular cows, as these had 20-foot horns and were very very close to me. Kelly and Maria got some sort of special Dr. Pepper. We toured the biggest Honky-tonk in the megaverse. Fact: I do not know what a Honky-tonk is, but I have been in the biggest one there is anywhere. The incoming freshman class of TCU was there line-dancing though. In our exploration we found stupendously dressed up cardboard cut-outs of Obama and McCain (on the left and right respectively and accurately), Texas tattoos, a snake in a bottle, and some rather expensive cowboy hats, among other things. I believe it was on this day that we ate with the Cyr parents at the classiest outdoor Mexican restaurant ever to only have two things on the menu. I had chicken fajitas and oh, how delightful they were. Our host miraculously had heard of UE, having played against the Aces in some or other sport, possibly swimming. Still more episodes of The Office, as well as some So You Think You Can Dance, filled the rest of the evening until the midnight showing of Wall-E. I have no idea how Pixar punctuates that. The movie was excellent, but a half-hour delay fused with our already tired eyes to make it quite difficult to remain conscious in the comfy comfy stadium seating. Much sleeping followed.

Much to everyone's delight, Friday was a slow lazy day. We awoke probably quite late to a morning of swimming and floating and, in my and Maria's cases, building up our already strange burn lines into truly unique body art. Then, with Cheez-Its and corn chips aplenty, we melted our brains with what may have been an ungodly amount of The Office, but it was just too good to stop. Why did no one ever make me watch that show before? When it was night we went to the lake to meet Alex and Zach yet again, and later Will. Kelly only has one friend at home who is a girl, and her name is Kelly too, so I have trouble accepting her existence even though we met at least twice. On the walk toward the lake we passed a big scary black car that we were quite sure would mow us down, but it did not. In the nearly complete darkness we sat in a formation of earth I just don't have the energy to describe, with a fire pit in the middle but no fire, and played Situations, the best game there is other than Apples to Apples and maybe CatchPhrase.

With Saturday morning came our sad departure, and predictably I hardly had the willpower to leave. Still, after many hugs and buying Mrs. Cyr flowers of gratitude, we left Kelly and Texas behind. The drive home was significantly less eventful than the one there, but pleasant and fast. At our one stop, we corrected some jerks' efforts to destroy the earth, and threw away their trash for them, which they deemed appropriate to be strewn about the grass haphazardly. Still, all went according to plan, and we arrived home in Memphis in plenty of time for Annebel and I to take Maria to Jerry's Sno Cones for deliciousness and fine company. Sunday morning she departed and I headed out straight behind her, back to camp.

In conclusion, finally, to conclude, Texas road trip, though missing one or two people I would very much have loved to see, was a sweeping success and so wonderful. It was a joy to see those two again and constantly for a week, unlike the past months had been without them, even if it was only temporary. More of my summer adventures to come, hopefully soon. Until then, enjoy some pictures.





21 June 2008

I wanna feed the hungry children

And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the father's hand

Treehouse III, June 15-21, 2008
Wilderness was the best possible way to start my summer at Lakeshore. It was a dream come true. My eight girls in Tent A were all spectacular and I love everything about wilderness. Becca, Brianna, Morgan, Mariah, Tennison, Mary Ann, Kari, Hannah. There were only some eighteen campers, Megan Jones had Tent D, and Swifty had the boys in C, and B was empty because of the wasp nest. I don't know how to do this without going one day at a time.

Sunday they all arrived and we got them messy--cereal eating contests and painting with their feet. Tent A named ourselves the Great Eight before we realized there were nine of us and added a parenthetical Plus One. We played "Dude Just Got Bit by a Snake!--Oh No, He's Just Chillin'." The Oaks won pretty much everything. It was a short but lovely day, though after bedtime one tiny camper wailed and howled and screamed, sure a wasp had stung him on the eye, though none had, and in fact he had just been poked by a little pebble on his pillow.

Monday was low ropes and let's face it, my girls rocked. Though it took them forever to get across the lava river with their very specific magic carpet square shoes, they tackled Jordan's Crossing with what can only be described as mad skills, and Tennison earned no less than 14 life points for a back-bend board-holding move that defied the laws of physics.

Tuesday at the rock wall I braided more hair than I thought it was possible to braid between breakfast and lunch. The total for the week reached 13 heads and 26 French braids. They loved me.

Wednesday was the traditional wilderness canoe trip on the Buffalo. I braided two heads on the way through the wind from the open windows in the AC-free Lakeshore school bus, and took on my canoe sweet Mary Ann, but also Lily, who belongs to the man who owns Flatwoods Canoe and who was completely mad (hatter-style), lied several times to me about her age, never listened, couldn't steer, pretended to cry, and ran us into the shore every mile or so. Well, that was stressful. But Mary Ann and I made it through like troopers and on the way back I slept sitting on the floor of the bus with my head on the seat. I don't know how no one ever thinks of that. It's the most comfortable bus-sleeping position there is.

On Thursday morning we had the service project, lining the new path up to wilderness with rocks, and let me tell you, the kids loved it. They freaking ate it up. Moving rocks from the creek, digging rocks out of the ground, carrying piles of rocks in their shirts, getting covered in mud and grossness and risking poison-everything in the woods and being awesome wild children. It was truly a sight to behold, especially when they formed their own assembly line from the creek to the path. Coty, sometimes known as the greatest camper of all time, carried huge huge rocks stretching out his little shirt and I think he defied the laws of physics too. I really don't remember what we did the rest of the day Thursday. That's what I get for waiting so long to write about my adventures. I forget important details. Let this be a lesson to you all.

Friday was mud volleyball and Eva beach. After breakfast we carted ourselves down the hill to the mud volleyball court, which contains no volleyball and only sometimes even a net. Once we were sufficiently disgusting and 100% covered in goopy goo mud, we slopped and slid up to main camp to scare senior high and then "cleaned" off in the lake, as per tradition. On the drive to Eva beach I got to sit in the front seat, because counselors do and I was one. (My warm fuzzy bag was labeled "Sara 'Not a Camper' Stephens" just to be sure.) At Eva beach I stayed on shore while Danielle and Swifty took the kids out in shifts for tubing and skiing and such things. Mostly we played Uno until four-thirty or so, when a huge group of senior citizens enswarmed the pavilion, claiming they had it reserved at four. Though we evacuated to the picnic tables, it just wasn't the same, so soon we all piled back into the van and headed back to main camp for dinner, which was, of course, delicious. At worship that night we followed a string through the woods in near total darkness and sang Grace Like Rain, among other things. A bunch of them cried, but then, it was Friday night.

Saturday was simple. Breakfast, packing up, singing, M&Ms, goodbyes. And I went home.

also to remember, and perhaps to expand upon later: eric noise, summer shakespeare, captain planet, coty voice, becca, mama gudische, hill ease, cement pond worship, white sheets worship, leaves, tree sketch, college story, moon pie






11 June 2008

I went to Evansville last weekend and Maria and Guy and I went on a picnic and drank honeysuckle and played with pink cards and sunbathed by the river and swung upside down and dizzied ourselves on a tire swing and sucked at phase 10 and stayed up till four and ate ice cream and explored a skeleton mall and you haven't even heard the half of it.


31 May 2008

Hot Hot Hot Oil

Summer is exciting. I have much planned, but it's still so long! I would like to take a class or something, but does anyone have 800 dollars just lying around? Well I don't. I applied for a job I probably will not get. Ah, what I want is something to pass the long afternoons between events. But the time will go quickly enough with all this.

June5-9: Evansville via Brentwood
June11: Dentist hah hah hah
[UPDATE] June15-21: Lakeshore (VCing wilderness 3)
June22-28: Texas road trip
June29-July5: Lakeshore (VCing youth arts/crafts)
[UPDATE] July6-12: Lakeshore (VCing jr. high 3)
July?-?: Evansville again

With luck I will either get a job or get more camps to counsel. August has nothing at all! Except, of course, picnics in all the gazebos in town. Memphis is a beautiful city but I've done everything fifty times already. Next summer I cannot spend this much time here. My knees are killing me already!

May was pretty nice though.

13 May 2008

Hello, I've missed you quite terribly.

It would have been silly to post much during the time since I last did because for so long I would just have been repeating myself. No one wants to read "I just wish my friends would come home" that many times, seriously. But now real things have happened, good things. And the things just keep getting better.

May seems like the time when everything got lovely but really it was the end of April. One day Jessica David and I went with some others to see Barack Obama speak. We spent over five hours there to hear him for twenty minutes and it was worth it. But you know, it's really more important that I went with Jeska than where I went because I have never mentioned her here before but she is so important! In twenty years what will matter is that I spent the whole semester hugging this girl and getting thought a lesbian for it and not minding because we are Hetero-Life-Partners-4-Life.


After Obama nothing good happened until April 30th, reading study day. But then four good things happened all at once; honestly I don't know how I handled it. Let's walk through the day together, shall we? I got up and took a shower, already a good start, and was getting ready at a leisurely rate at around eleven with every belief that nothing would happen for the next hour. However, shortly thereafter, my sweet roommate Chelsea's boyfriend (whom I affectionately call) DomDom (even though he hates it) nearly punched me in the face with the door, and his eagerness entirely made up for plenty of times when I've wished he had ovaries so I could put him in front of the microwave and turn it on, because he said, "I just saw Guy Wyant coming up the sidewalk." The next three minutes were proof I have prophetic dreams (see 16 March). I spent the next hour and a half after that hugging him, hello lovely home from England thing. This one--


Just a few minutes before one, then, I was downstairs standing in the lobby waiting for another one, and I almost got hit by a car honestly, running to Jennifer. We went together to the student publications lunch and came back to school to form the best quad-fecta of our generation, the two of us and Jeska and Guy, at least for a little while.


At five, directly following the arrival of Matt and Alex, the plan that Jackie and Bernard and Chelsea came up with to make my day as embarrassing as possible went into effect. With everyone watching, Guy and John Posey played Pomp and Circumstance on accordion and saxophone and my dear friends held a high school graduation ceremony for me, hideous maroon robes and all. When I gave up on my attempts to hide behind Chelsea, Molly gave the commencement address, Jennifer and Jeska played my parents, and Katie conferred upon me the diploma signifying my graduation from Posexy High (whose school song, by the way, is "Hey There Delilah").


For the next several days I did very little studying and an enormous amount of being around people I have missed so, so terribly. We ate 31-cent ice cream and spent all our time around each other. Early Saturday morning, Matt and Alex left for their respective Illinois homes. Saturday night we held birthday celebrations for John Posey with ice cream and Cosmo and cookie cake. Jen stayed until Sunday and her last night we slept in the boat. Guy came and went between his house and his brother's house and Powell but never really left for good.


On Monday I stole Guy and was drinking a sub-par hot chocolate at Cafe Apostrophe and talking to him like old times when Maria showed up in the door freshly home from Europe. I knocked a chair over, but not on purpose of course. I didn't let her go for an hour until she had to go see other people for a while. I have no pictures of her from these days even though they were wonderful, which I guess means I'll just have to go back to visit.

...
I wish I could remember every second but I'm already forgetting things. The people behind me and Guy at Iron Man were making duck noises the whole time. I got a scarf from Poland and a beret from Paris. Jacket thievery, Toss 'n' Catch, She's the Man, saying "Two, please." All that sleeping in the boat. Cardboard Alex in my room, packing, Jamal, the lounge cleaned, the lounge goodbyed for good. The last night we tried so hard to stay up but fell asleep on the floor, then on the couch again and again, and I wanted to talk more and say so much more but the leaving is so much less painful when soon really means soon.

16 March 2008

A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Last night I dreamt that three of my friends were back suddenly and no one knew they were coming, but I saw them from the window and froze and then ran outside where the sun was shining, and they were there all bright shining too, and I laughed like you wouldn't believe, and oh how wonderful it was-- (like a dream, but then, it was a dream.)

12 March 2008

What a beautiful day.

I don't care it if gets cold again--it's spring!

Awesome things about everything:
It's Wednesday.
The sun!
Mango smoothie.
NMSC just gave me four thousand dollars.
Two days left in my childhood.
Outside!
March will be round-off-able in just a few days.
I love everyone <3

27 February 2008

WHAT THE HELL POWELL HALL
ARE YOU KIDDING ME

11 February 2008

the brightest thing is the sun, so the bright side is the side from which it rises.

east

05 February 2008

Survival Techniques

I am spending the first five days of spring break in Rosendale with Amelia. I am the last one to visit. We are going to have fruit and fine cheeses and ice cream every day, lie in beds, loll about, have adventures, take pictures, sip sweet teas, bundle up, and think only of happy sleepy beautiful things. The plane ticket has been purchased, the deal is on. It's happening. An added bonus? It's 766 miles closer.

Since I'm flying I'll be home too, at the end, for a few days, and I'll be able to see my loves in Memphis. Harbortown, you guys. And maybe it'll finally be warm.

25 January 2008

Last night I dreamed of cobblestones and sun and people who are very far away being very close. Everyone was happy. Everyone was smiling.

07 January 2008

It's Not the Holiday Season

Tomorrow morning I go back to Evansville. It is a strange feeling because for a good eleven years past, watching Christmas break end was a travesty. Now though, I can't get back soon enough. England has taken everyone (<--moderate hyperbole) but still, I need to get out of Memphis. The break has been way too emotionally stressful (despite a healthy dose of great fun) and right now being in this city just reminds me that I am sad. I have trouble figuring out what I got out of the past few weeks, because there was all this excellent stuff--seeing my friends from home and getting and giving presents and laughing and shouting and talking on the phone and driving everywhere--that means Christmas 2k7 and the surrounding time off was a success, but I have never spent more hurrah-not-in-school time feeling so sad, and lonely. Hattie said sometime during this time that next semester I'll just be like all the other kids who go to college and have an okay time and are basically happy but wish they were happier, but that the difference between me and them is I get to know that the perfect miracle I had first semester is going to come back to me. I think that's a pretty good way to look at it.

At any rate, Memphis, thank you for your time, and I love you, but I'm through and nothing but ready to be nowhere but Evansville. Got that? I really don't want to have to handle any more time here because right now all I can think about is sucky, and I know at school there's some goodness left to be had.