- i hate that my fingernails always tear when im nowhere near a nail file.
- i want college now. NOW.
- i dont know what dating is like and i imagine all the good parts of it every day and ignore the fact that it has bad parts. i want to have the good parts.
- i remember that i dont like my body literally forty to fifty times a day.
- i think i have restless leg syndrome. like seriously.
- i am not very good at math, i am just okay at math.
- yesterday i wrote DIE DIE DIE on my ankle at the 11th grade assembly because every time mr brown talks i want to DIE DIE DIE.
- i love life but i will love it a lot more when high school gets out of my face.
- i care about my gpa and class rank a whole lot.
- i think projects are useless.
- i love to run really fast and i would love to run really fast really far for hours and hours and then fall down and go to sleep, but i cant.
- going to sleep is probably my number one priority every night.
- i love willifords.
- i love driving and it would be really nice if i could get some insurance sometime soon. i love my green 92 toyota camry.
- the single best moment of 2005 and the worst days of 2005 in my life both occurred at the botanic gardens.
- i dont floss, and i probably will never start. "do you have any idea how hard it is to quit smoking?" "yeah, its as hard as it is to START FLOSSING."
- i have a whole lot of shoes but i only wear about three pairs. four if you count my piggy slippers.
- i frequently pretend im uncomfortable when i dont want boys to know im enjoying their fake joking affection.
- i think nathaniel hawthorne was secretly a woman.
- i really like the way the bottom of my tongue feels.
- i think i appreciate my sense of touch more than most people do.
- i am not going to quit novus until i leave the city, no matter who else quits. i like it.
- "i believe you cant control or choose your sexuality."
- im terrified of failure and being late to class and not being able to pay for college and dancing and never getting married and being caught with a cellphone at school.
- i dont know how to deal with criticism.
- i cant think of anything anyone has ever said to me that makes me feel more confident than when cookies told me north dakota was probably the third best thing he'd ever read.
- i have horrendous posture.
- i probably like you a lot.
30 August 2006
I Think I'll Assess My Life Right Now
why not? heres some things:
28 August 2006
I Make Ridiculous Latin Sentences.
LATIN
Sara Magistrae Lafon SPD. Hodie matri cibum parabam. Cras Cornelia et Matella stilum Marco dabunt. Ego quattuor stilos habeo. Ecce! Luna in caelo videtur! Parare nunc cenam volo. Vale!
ENGLISH
Sara to Ms. Lafon sends heartiest greetings. Today I have prepared food for my mother. Tomorrow Cornelia and Matella will give Marcus a pen. I have four pens. Look! The moon is seen in the sky! I want to prepare dinner now. Later!
(actually, vale means be strong, not later, but its basically like aloha.)
in other news, i now have four classes on the third floor of the annex. yes. i am now in honors precal. double yes. i now no longer have the weight of rhode island upon my shoulders.
KYLE XY SEASON FINALE TONIGHT.
Sara Magistrae Lafon SPD. Hodie matri cibum parabam. Cras Cornelia et Matella stilum Marco dabunt. Ego quattuor stilos habeo. Ecce! Luna in caelo videtur! Parare nunc cenam volo. Vale!
ENGLISH
Sara to Ms. Lafon sends heartiest greetings. Today I have prepared food for my mother. Tomorrow Cornelia and Matella will give Marcus a pen. I have four pens. Look! The moon is seen in the sky! I want to prepare dinner now. Later!
(actually, vale means be strong, not later, but its basically like aloha.)
in other news, i now have four classes on the third floor of the annex. yes. i am now in honors precal. double yes. i now no longer have the weight of rhode island upon my shoulders.
KYLE XY SEASON FINALE TONIGHT.
23 August 2006
A Regression
heres my rotten day, in weird unhappy stream of consciousness type dribblydrabble.
the morning, by third i wanted to scream and red red and i hate not knowing. it put off my whole day, languages, short temper, frustration, jealousy, all day. by 2 i gave up and talked to everyone i could find, help please, ask someone else, so i did and i did and i did. im nervous, im afraid, im inferior. council, principality? why be so tedious? so i go and i ask and i rephrase, and almost nothing, come back tomorrow, probably not. it has nothing to do with you. no no no. so its hot and im running to the bathroom to the only place in this huge brick building with a little door i can close, and im running and its hot and i sit. and i sit and its hot and the water is hot and drip drops off my eyeballs and i have to hold my breath to breathe, to be quiet. so come back tomorrow. now the water is cold and drip drops out of the sink and all over my head, and i have to go home, and im sitting in the car and im home, chocolate, wasting time. i have no willpower or will to do what i need to do. i dont know what i need to do but i know this isnt it. i know if i keep doing what im doing it isnt what i need to be doing. there are too many people and no way to make .04% of someones problem matter because all my problem is is .04% of someone elses problem.
the morning, by third i wanted to scream and red red and i hate not knowing. it put off my whole day, languages, short temper, frustration, jealousy, all day. by 2 i gave up and talked to everyone i could find, help please, ask someone else, so i did and i did and i did. im nervous, im afraid, im inferior. council, principality? why be so tedious? so i go and i ask and i rephrase, and almost nothing, come back tomorrow, probably not. it has nothing to do with you. no no no. so its hot and im running to the bathroom to the only place in this huge brick building with a little door i can close, and im running and its hot and i sit. and i sit and its hot and the water is hot and drip drops off my eyeballs and i have to hold my breath to breathe, to be quiet. so come back tomorrow. now the water is cold and drip drops out of the sink and all over my head, and i have to go home, and im sitting in the car and im home, chocolate, wasting time. i have no willpower or will to do what i need to do. i dont know what i need to do but i know this isnt it. i know if i keep doing what im doing it isnt what i need to be doing. there are too many people and no way to make .04% of someones problem matter because all my problem is is .04% of someone elses problem.
21 August 2006
15 August 2006
I think I'm legally obligated to do this every year.
so yesterday was the first day of school. duh you knew that. but yesterday my schedule was eight types of crazy, so ill do this today. are you ready? are you STEADY?! ARE YOU GO?!
1. homeroom, mr lewis, 3rd floor annex. okay, so, hes sweaty. like really. but anyway, we wont ever have it practically. anna talley, morgan, audrey. you know, the reg. but not derek. darn stuco homeroom.
2. honors german one, mr sturgis, 3rd floor annex. uhm, mostly i joined this class when my schedule was rearranged because the sturge is a hottie. wow, im a terrible person. but actually, i think i might learn some german now that hermmann the germmann is gonne. its a really small class. george williford is in it, but i think its because his schedule is wrong, so thatll probably change. otherwise, just ragan oliver and lots of freshman. and the sturgeon.
3. preAP precalculus, ms halfacre, 1st floor main (T stem). this will almost definitely be my hardest class. i think that math has finally caught up with me, and my years of psh-i-can-do-this in math are over. but ill be okay. a pretty good selection: merce, annebel, and borany at my table, plus chris, evan, and a kid who looks like brian nickol.
4. AP english language and composition, ms wexler, 1st floor main (T stem). its conveniently about three doors down from precal. wexler seems less scary then i first imagined. i predict this class will be a hakuna. matata, that is. no worries, that is. it has merce, alex bransford, and eldridge green.
5. honors latin three, ms lafon, 3rd floor annex. basically im really excited. i mean, we have a quiz tomorrow on declensions. i mean, i know declensions. i mean, im really excited about doing well in latin again. and its the only latin three class, so it has everyone still in latin from part deux: annebel, hattie, moore, shelbizzle, surosree, trey harness, etc. i have officially sat behind annebel in latin since grade eight. and since theres only one AP latin class, ill sit behind her again in AP for a five year run. amazing!
6. AP US history, mr stephenson, 3rd floor annex. mr stephenson is so cool. plus, his name is michael stephenson and my dads name is michael stephens. i told him that and he said "you trying to get more extra credit?" and laughed. AP US is going to be hard but great. im really glad im taking it. eileen, hattie, k.ho, nhat, derek, andrew lu, virginia hine. basically, 9.5 white kids and 14.5 asians and thats it. how exciting to be a minority. i love asians. except not the ones who are above me in class rank. like shawn pan, also in this class. when mr stephenson asked chi what his favorite movie was, chi said, "can i get a different question?" it was hilarious.
7. honors US government, ms sugarmon, 2nd floor main (sr gym end). today in government we wrote sugarmon a letter about ourselves and then divided into "north, south, east, and west personalities." i am so totally not concerned about this class being hard at all. i think it might be a little boring, but thats it. it has lane, eric neimeyer, eldridge, and hannah shaffer. next semester devin will be in my economics class in the portables with coach mcdugle. the treck from 3rd floor annex to portables is going to be LOADS of fun. except not.
well thats all. still no classes with morgan. (besides freshman english i havent had one with her since the sixth grade, and before that not since pre-k. the world is hell-bent on keeping us apart. but it will fail!) i have c lunch with everyone from my latin class plus lilla. so thats pretty good. this year is really looking up. i really hope i catch on in precal. i really hope my life continues to go this well for a while. today i saw nathan and peter for the first time since before summer. it was weird and nice. peter and i had this amazingly ought-to-be-on-film moment when he said "do you have ap physics?" and i said "do you have AP US?" at the same time and then we both said "no" at the same time. it was perfectly on point. it was like that one part in aladdin. "theyre after me! theyre after you?!" we high-fived.
1. homeroom, mr lewis, 3rd floor annex. okay, so, hes sweaty. like really. but anyway, we wont ever have it practically. anna talley, morgan, audrey. you know, the reg. but not derek. darn stuco homeroom.
2. honors german one, mr sturgis, 3rd floor annex. uhm, mostly i joined this class when my schedule was rearranged because the sturge is a hottie. wow, im a terrible person. but actually, i think i might learn some german now that hermmann the germmann is gonne. its a really small class. george williford is in it, but i think its because his schedule is wrong, so thatll probably change. otherwise, just ragan oliver and lots of freshman. and the sturgeon.
3. preAP precalculus, ms halfacre, 1st floor main (T stem). this will almost definitely be my hardest class. i think that math has finally caught up with me, and my years of psh-i-can-do-this in math are over. but ill be okay. a pretty good selection: merce, annebel, and borany at my table, plus chris, evan, and a kid who looks like brian nickol.
4. AP english language and composition, ms wexler, 1st floor main (T stem). its conveniently about three doors down from precal. wexler seems less scary then i first imagined. i predict this class will be a hakuna. matata, that is. no worries, that is. it has merce, alex bransford, and eldridge green.
5. honors latin three, ms lafon, 3rd floor annex. basically im really excited. i mean, we have a quiz tomorrow on declensions. i mean, i know declensions. i mean, im really excited about doing well in latin again. and its the only latin three class, so it has everyone still in latin from part deux: annebel, hattie, moore, shelbizzle, surosree, trey harness, etc. i have officially sat behind annebel in latin since grade eight. and since theres only one AP latin class, ill sit behind her again in AP for a five year run. amazing!
6. AP US history, mr stephenson, 3rd floor annex. mr stephenson is so cool. plus, his name is michael stephenson and my dads name is michael stephens. i told him that and he said "you trying to get more extra credit?" and laughed. AP US is going to be hard but great. im really glad im taking it. eileen, hattie, k.ho, nhat, derek, andrew lu, virginia hine. basically, 9.5 white kids and 14.5 asians and thats it. how exciting to be a minority. i love asians. except not the ones who are above me in class rank. like shawn pan, also in this class. when mr stephenson asked chi what his favorite movie was, chi said, "can i get a different question?" it was hilarious.
7. honors US government, ms sugarmon, 2nd floor main (sr gym end). today in government we wrote sugarmon a letter about ourselves and then divided into "north, south, east, and west personalities." i am so totally not concerned about this class being hard at all. i think it might be a little boring, but thats it. it has lane, eric neimeyer, eldridge, and hannah shaffer. next semester devin will be in my economics class in the portables with coach mcdugle. the treck from 3rd floor annex to portables is going to be LOADS of fun. except not.
well thats all. still no classes with morgan. (besides freshman english i havent had one with her since the sixth grade, and before that not since pre-k. the world is hell-bent on keeping us apart. but it will fail!) i have c lunch with everyone from my latin class plus lilla. so thats pretty good. this year is really looking up. i really hope i catch on in precal. i really hope my life continues to go this well for a while. today i saw nathan and peter for the first time since before summer. it was weird and nice. peter and i had this amazingly ought-to-be-on-film moment when he said "do you have ap physics?" and i said "do you have AP US?" at the same time and then we both said "no" at the same time. it was perfectly on point. it was like that one part in aladdin. "theyre after me! theyre after you?!" we high-fived.
12 August 2006
sometimes i think im on drugs
but then i wake up and it was a dream. like last night.
i was in a group of about ten people, and we were trying to see if there was a sign from above that somethingidontremember had happened/would happen/could happen, and apparently if it was so, there would be a "hot mark" (a burn? i dont know) on the back of someone with green eyes, which was just me and one other girl (it was the girl from camp with the weird style that changes every day), and she didnt have one but i did, and everyone got all nervous (as horses before a thunder storm).
then it cut to what were apparently the repercussions of that last scene, and it was buzz lightyear and woody climbing around this elaborate rectangular prism of what looked like the 3d pipes screensaver that comes with computers, and they were looking for something, but then someone hit a big red button, and the pipes turned into like a gazillion little rectangular white tiles, and woody and buzz were trapped inside! it was like they were part of the tiles. but buzz broke through the tiles with his tile head and the whole apparatus exploded and buzz and woody were floating around in this great expanse of blue with all this broken tile, and then woody spotted what they were looking for and started sort of swimming through the air toward it, but by the time he got there he was me and buzz was rider strong and there was someone else there too and we all had on scuba suits looking for this thing that i had just found, which turned out to be one red and one orange starburst.
so rider strong was trying to convince me that i shouldnt let this other guy who was there know i found the starbursts because he would take them and use them for evil. and it was all very gloomy and dramatic. so i hid the starbursts in my scuba suit and got out of the very large pool with the very dark water, and there were picnic tables with all the people from the beginning of the dream. then rider strong and the other guy got into this epic water battle. i dont know who won.
THEN suddenly i was at lakeshore on the couch thats in the library (only it was in the sunroom) with amelia and someone i dont know who goes to white station and someone else, and we were watching all of this happen on a really big tv. it was very intense, but suddenly it ended and it was apparently an episode of spongebob. and i fell off the couch and white station boy said to me, "why do they always play the intense and depressing episodes while we're here?" and i said, "i was just about to ask you exactly that." so he left and i told amelia we should go to sleep because we had to get up for breakfast.
and that was the end.
(questions? comments? analysis anyone?)
i was in a group of about ten people, and we were trying to see if there was a sign from above that somethingidontremember had happened/would happen/could happen, and apparently if it was so, there would be a "hot mark" (a burn? i dont know) on the back of someone with green eyes, which was just me and one other girl (it was the girl from camp with the weird style that changes every day), and she didnt have one but i did, and everyone got all nervous (as horses before a thunder storm).
then it cut to what were apparently the repercussions of that last scene, and it was buzz lightyear and woody climbing around this elaborate rectangular prism of what looked like the 3d pipes screensaver that comes with computers, and they were looking for something, but then someone hit a big red button, and the pipes turned into like a gazillion little rectangular white tiles, and woody and buzz were trapped inside! it was like they were part of the tiles. but buzz broke through the tiles with his tile head and the whole apparatus exploded and buzz and woody were floating around in this great expanse of blue with all this broken tile, and then woody spotted what they were looking for and started sort of swimming through the air toward it, but by the time he got there he was me and buzz was rider strong and there was someone else there too and we all had on scuba suits looking for this thing that i had just found, which turned out to be one red and one orange starburst.
so rider strong was trying to convince me that i shouldnt let this other guy who was there know i found the starbursts because he would take them and use them for evil. and it was all very gloomy and dramatic. so i hid the starbursts in my scuba suit and got out of the very large pool with the very dark water, and there were picnic tables with all the people from the beginning of the dream. then rider strong and the other guy got into this epic water battle. i dont know who won.
THEN suddenly i was at lakeshore on the couch thats in the library (only it was in the sunroom) with amelia and someone i dont know who goes to white station and someone else, and we were watching all of this happen on a really big tv. it was very intense, but suddenly it ended and it was apparently an episode of spongebob. and i fell off the couch and white station boy said to me, "why do they always play the intense and depressing episodes while we're here?" and i said, "i was just about to ask you exactly that." so he left and i told amelia we should go to sleep because we had to get up for breakfast.
and that was the end.
(questions? comments? analysis anyone?)
10 August 2006
09 August 2006
05 August 2006
ITS DONE. OVER. FOREVER.
ladies and gentlemen, i am now unemployed. and unlike in the case of, say, malachy mccourt, in my case, this is a good thing. i will miss the money, but i have saved almost 600 dollars since november, so i think ill be okay. thats 12 bucks a week for the next year. approximately. and i will not miss having no saturdays. i MISS SATURDAYS. im really happy.
in other news since whenever, i bought all my school supplies today. pens, pencils, dry erase markers, paper, graph paper, folders, graphing calculator, organizer, etc. all i have left are binders (because they were too expensive at office depot even without tax) and my traditional annual PhD pencil. so hopefully tomorrow ill get to officemax for those. [UPDATE 7Aug06: binders check. pencil check.]
and let me tell you. as of right now, there are eight days and about two hours of summer left. i have that much time to do the following: (i am comforted by lists)
in other news since whenever, i bought all my school supplies today. pens, pencils, dry erase markers, paper, graph paper, folders, graphing calculator, organizer, etc. all i have left are binders (because they were too expensive at office depot even without tax) and my traditional annual PhD pencil. so hopefully tomorrow ill get to officemax for those. [UPDATE 7Aug06: binders check. pencil check.]
and let me tell you. as of right now, there are eight days and about two hours of summer left. i have that much time to do the following: (i am comforted by lists)
- preAP precal summer work. annebel and i started yesterday but, because we dont know how to work a graphing calculator, spent an hour and a half on the first problem and did not get done. but we're doing better now, and we're going to finish tomorrow, even if i have to call lauren huddleston and make her come over and help us. [UPDATE 6Aug06: done. basically.]
- finish hiroshima. i started it today and plan to get halfway through tonight. its only about 150 pages so i should finish tomorrow or monday. [UPDATE 8Aug06: done.]
- write an essay about hiroshima. that wont be very hard. two pages, ill do it monday. [UPDATE 8Aug06: done]
- write five essays/notes about the grapes of wrath. ill do two of them on monday and three on tuesday. see? i have a plan.
- write eight essays about the awakening. this scares me the most because i hated the awakening and i feel like nothing happened and the essays are boring. but ill do three on wednesday and three on thursday and two on friday.
this is the worst case scenario. mom thinks i can be done by tuesday but i dont have faith in myself. we'll see. by friday at the latest, according to plan, ill be done. and ill have the last weekend of summer to spend with anyone else who managed to finish their summer work with a weekend left. and saturday night at say about six which is when i would normally go to work, morgan and eileen, lets get calzones.
THE PAIRRRERRR OF THREE!
i believe in us.
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